The Many Deaths of Seto Kaiba
by KaelynnD
Summary: How many ways can a bored writer kill a most beloved character? Read to find out how Seto Kaiba dies from knitting, skydiving, working, refusing to play Barbies and more!
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone!

So, here is the deal I was reading some Aladdin Fanfiction, because Aladdin is my hero, and came across a story like this one. It was so funny I thought I'd try myself. Note: I did not come up with this idea, The Scarlet Pumpernickel 2.0 did it before me. And I tried not to use any of the same deaths she did, which was difficult, she came up with a lot of good ones... And just incase she reads this, your story is awesome!

Basically, I am just listing all the ways I can think of to kill Seto Kaiba off. It is quite funny.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh or this idea.

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-Seto used his computer so much it explodes from over-use.

-He was strangled in a tragic jump roping accident

-Seto befriends a wildebeest who finds that he can use a gun despite his lack of opposible thumbs.

-His hair grew so massive he suffocated.

-He used so much aerosol hairspray that he single-handedly destroyed our ozone layer and caused the death of all mankind.

-His Blue Eyes White Dragon card gave him a paper cut and he bled to death.

-Chuck Norris gave him a dirty look and his heart stopped beating, never to start again.

-He jumped out of his company jet, thinking his trench coat would be a perfectly acceptable parachute. _It almost was._

-His pet lizard BlueEyes bit him.

-He confused his spoon with his knife while eating breakfast.

-Seto messed with the wrong Mutt. A real one.

-During one of Anzu's lectures on friendship, he chose to die of boredom rather than listening to another dreadful second.

-Finally beat Yugi in a duel, only to wake up, and then die of unnatural causes. Further information is confidential.

-Upon Seto's refusal to play Barbies with Mokuba, Mokuba became angry and attempted to use a Barbie kitchen knife to kill Seto. Failing that, he pushed him down the stairs.

-Seto falls out of his office window. Teehee.

-A random unicorn bursts out of a rainbow, impaling Seto with his horn.

-Seto develops a serious case of asthma, then promptly dies in a car accident.

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So, this is just a few that I came up with. Haha- I love Seto, and this isn't Seto bashing, he just seemed like the easiest character to do.

I have more! If you like it, review and let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

Here is chapter two! Thanks for the reviews for the first chapter, they really meant a lot, and I was pretty surprised at how many people reviewed. Haha- I normally only get one or two reviews for Arose Power, where have all you been?

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh! or this idea.

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-After staring at his computer screen for six days straight, Seto became blind, and walked off a cliff.

-While taking a stroll in the park, it begins to hail, and he dies of a hit on the head. The news reports that the piece of hail was the size of a small poodle.

-Seto's head grew so big with pride that it burst.

-During a game of hopscotch, Seto tripped and stubbed his toe, the proceeded to die of humiliation.

-Four-hundred and ninteen authors killed him during the course of their fanfiction.

-During a field trip to the local zoo, a stampede trampled him.

-Tristan rammed him with his hair-horn, which destroyed several major organs.

-Leprosy.

-Serial killer attacks Domino, taking only one victim, then travels to the nearby bar.

-Seto took too many Advil for his constant headaches and went into shock. Luckily, he survived. Then he developed pleurisy in the hospital and that finished the job.

-Seto grew old and died.

-Pegasus sent Funny Bunny to attack him.

-Fangirls decided that they each wanted a piece of him. Literally.

-When Seto refused to "Go Green" a group of hippies stoned him.

-At a dance party, Seto won the dancing contest, but soon died of exhaustion.

-Once Yugi convinced Seto to take the Rod, Seth appeared. Seth killed Seto saying "There can only be one of me!" He is identity issues.

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So, that is all I came up with. If however, you want me to keep going, it is going to take some serious reviewing, as I have to finish Arose Power. If you haven't read that, check it out!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone! I made some more!

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-Developed the chicken pox.

-Managed to avoid getting the Swine Flu, but was killed by a pig with a flu.

-A meteor fell from space, hit his house. He didn't make it out in time.

-While driving, Seto passed a newspaper stand and saw the headline that read, "**Joseph Wheeler, unknown genius**?" He was so distracted that he didn't see the eighteen-wheeler approach.

-Seto heard the tornado siren as it went off and panicked. He then proceeded to hide in the refrigerator, not realizing that he wouldn't be able to escape before freezing to death.

-He tried to knit. After "knit one" he got so bored that he stopped paying attention and stabbed himself with the needle, dying of blood loss.

-Challenged Michael Phelps to a race. Seto fell into the pool once he heard the gun shot and drowned because he was so afraid.

-Proposed to Mai Valentine, only to be told to "crawl into a hole and die". He did just that.

-Scored a _99_ on a Calculus test and that alone was enough to kill him.

-Listened to the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus CD.

-During Domino High's production of Rapunzel, Seto set out to climb up the long, blonde braid. Unfortunately, it was a wig, which fell off the actresses head half way up his ascent, and he plummeted to his death.

-Accidently ate an entire box of rat poison.

-Was jealous of Benjamin Franklin for discovering electricity, so he decided to try the whole kite/key thing himself. Ben Franklin had been lucky. Seto Kaiba, not so much.

-While standing on the roof of KaibaCorp, it collapsed, and Seto died after the long fall down.

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I got bored and decided to come up with some more of these random deaths. . . Review! And believe it or not, I have more! Review and I will upload them.

And if you are new to the writings of KaelynnD, please check out my other stories, especially the From the Dead-Arose Power series! Leave me a review there also!


	4. Chapter 4

This is some weekend for me isn't it? A new story, and update on this. . . I'm on a roll here.

Disclaimer still stands.

Follow me on Twitter! KaelynnD

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- Seto choked on a peach pit.

- Traveled to Africa for a safari, only to be killed in a stampede of animals shouting, "Mufasa!"

- Espa Roba tried so hard to read Seto's mind that he shut it off completely.

- Mokuba convinced Seto to give up coffee, but Seto took up energy drinks. Drinking ten in a row gave him a heart attack.

- As Seto was crowned the new "King of Games" the crown punctured his soul and gave him lead poisoning.

- His world merged with that of Death Note. Light Yagami wrote his name in the dreaded book. Seto then told Joey that he wanted them be best friends, then was killed by a roaming horse. Light is a meanie.

- After being named the second most attractive man in the world, Seto set out to kill the only man more sexy than he. Upon doing so, Seto was sentenced to death.

_Dear Reader:_

_I would like to inform you that I have taken away KaelynnD's laptop and all other writing utensils. This type of story is completely unacceptable and simply not worth your time. I suggest reading a book or working if you have nothing better to do. Obviously you have time on your hands, otherwise you wouldn't be staring at the computer with that ridiculous expression on your face reading the ways that I could die. Many of these are completely absurd, not to mention physically impossible. I implore you to find a better piece of writing to fill your brains with, as you can see, KaelynnD will be doing no more writing on this topic._

_Formally, Seto Kaiba_

- I sneak up on Seto and kill him for his interference during my update. Sorry for the interruption, please continue reading.

- When Serenity Wheeler declined his offer of marriage, his heart literally broke.

- Pricked his finger on the same spindle as Sleeping Beauty. But no prince wanted to kiss him.

- Seto went to the circus and learned the true definition of 'whiplash.'

- The Jonas brother's took him to the Year 3000, where he drowned because everything was under water.

- He decided to take up juggling, and was surprizingly talented at it. Or he was, before he attempted the fire. . .

- Sword Swallowing, for professionals only!

- Seto adopted a dog from the pound. It attacked him in his sleep so he would be the master of the house.

- Taylor Lautner heard that Seto thought that his abs were CGI and came after him with his ninja-like moves. Took off his head just like Kanye's. (Watch that SNL, AMAZING!)

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So, there it is. I don't think that I will be putting any more. As you can probably see, I'm running out of ideas. Please review and check out my new story - Possessions!


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